Selfish Shadow
by merryfortune
Summary: [Companion fic but can be read separately / Yokai AU] Kuroko is a shadow yokai who is in love with basketball. All he wanted was to play one game but that desire has led him down an inevitable path which includes an agonising conversation with his very mortal best friend whom he has fallen in love with.


**Selfish Shadow**

 **[AN: Kuroko's yokai form is inspired by a shadow yokai that appears in an episode of Otome Yokai Zakuro but feel free to imagine otherwise.]**

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Kuroko wished he could explain himself better. He wished he couldn't have avoided this situation altogether but it appeared to be inevitable. What had been done is done and it was going to remain that way for all eternity as an irreversible act. Kuroko supposed if he wanted to avert this situation, he shouldn't have been born but that was something had been out of his reach.

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Kuroko was fairly young by his standards. His standards were not human standards however, which is why he was in this situation. By human standards, he was as old as ancient history.

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Once upon a time, everyone had the sight. However, as Japan opened its arms to westernisation and beliefs changed in succession which led to a decrease in people being born with the ability to naturally perceive the supernatural. Kuroko had been just a newborn during the Meiji era but he still remembered brightly the times of days gone by.

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He remembered what his favourite pool of murky darkness had been like. He remembered the faces of all the passer-by travellers who had come with to him. They were mainly women and girls who had tried to grab him and coddle him.

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They loved how sift and small he was. He was like a little doll made up of the softest, inkiest feathers. But Kuroko had bene a live, sentient being so he hated how they touched him vapidly and without asking him. His inability to speak back then didn't help. But he was partially thankful for them as if were not for those troublesome ladies; he would be without a name. They had called him "Kuroko" because they thought he was a tiny creature that was black in colour.

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Kuroko couldn't pinpoint an exact day in which he stopped receiving visitors, despite the masses that occupied the train station in which he called his home. It had been a gradual revelation that no one could see him.

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In hindsight, it was that blur of lonely days of an eon between traditionalism and westernisation which had ultimate caused the current situation Kuroko was embroiled in.

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The train station had been a lonely place, even for a shy yokai such as Kuroko so one day, as the doors fell shut one last, he left. He travelled around the city that was modern, sparkling with a new era he didn't recognise. Long ago were the days in which a kimono was the casual dress of a city dweller. Kuroko watched people around him and was careful not to be stepped on. Soon, Kuroko withdrew from is adventure and became lost. He had hid in the closet shadow he could find so he could recharge his shoddy stamina. He sat in the shade and looked around.

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He was in a park. There was greenery and grey around. There were plenty of cheerful humans, shouting and frolicking in general merriment as well. He took particular interest in a few youths nearby who were engaged in a game Kuroko had never seen before. Kuroko watched them play; enraptured by curiosity and wonder.

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Despite never seeing the game before, Kuroko was able to pick up on some of the rules of the game. The orange ball had to keep moving unless passing it either to another play or through one of the hoops set up o. The player can be rough but not too rough or that results in a "foul". The goal was to get more points than your opponent and points varied based on where you pass the ball from.

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It looked a bit dangerous but Kuroko loved it nonetheless. He was enamoured by it. The youths eventually stopped playing and that saddened Kuroko, just a teeny-bit. "Good game, bro."

"Well done, mate."

"Sweet-ass dunk back there."

"Let's play again sometime."

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Kuroko perked up when he heard that. I think I'll like it here, he thought to himself. He had found a new home. He spied on the youths whenever they came in and soon enough, Kuroko was able to put a name to his favourite game. It was called "basketball".

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However, watching was not nearly enough for Kuroko. He wanted to play the game for himself. Unfortunately for Kuroko the other yokai who lived in or around the park were not as interested in assisting him in his pursuit of basketball. Or at least that's what Kuroko garnered from what they told him. They found it hard to understand him as his lack of mouth meant for a lack of communication.

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At first, Kuroko could tolerate it but eventually, he gave up and decided to find a new way of getting what he wanted. And that's what landed him in the situation he was in now. Kuroko investigated the yokai world for a way of becoming human or at least human-like and he managed to find a way that did just that. He allowed a wizard to enchant him and Kuroko was able to assume a body. He had been assured that it wouldn't wear off until he needed it.

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And Kuroko was satisfied by what became of his body. He grew to what he considered an immense size and his soft skin remained but it didn't burn when he was outside (well, it didn't a little bit but it didn't cause him to slowly fade away into non-existence), although a lot paler than what it used to be. He had fingers and toes. He was given some clothes and told "Off you go".

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One thing led to another and Kuroko quickly discovered his body was a bit young. Through a little bit of misdirection, manipulation and hypnosis, Kuroko ended up at Teikou Academy where he was enrolled and part of the basketball team.

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Kuroko couldn't believe how the basketball felt between his hands when he was first put onto the court. He liked the way his lungs burned when he used too much energy and he didn't mind that the humans in "the above grade" made fun of him for being horrible at what he loved but that didn't matter because he had determination.

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Kuroko was able to make a few friends who shared his passion. He kept close to Midorima at first because Kuroko could sense the psychic energy stored in the green-haired boy – that decision led to an interesting fiasco in which he had to pretend an irritating but good-natured tanuki yokai didn't exist. Kuroko wished he could understand the story there but he couldn't risk dropping the masquerade because then he wouldn't be able to play basketball.

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They called him and his friends the "Generation of Miracles" because they were so good at playing basketball together. He was the "phantom sixth player" and that was a moniker he decided was oddly fitting of him so he never argued. Despite his unnaturally blue hair, Kuroko went unnoticed – much like when he was still just a yokai. A girl named Momoi fell in love with him, but he didn't reciprocate. Relations of that nature never ended nicely, even someone as young as Kuroko knew that. He and his friends were able to "grow up" together, a surreal thing for the yokai-in-disguise. But he liked it.

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That was until they fell out due to conflicting ideals. Kuroko wondered if they had noticed though. That he wasn't human and that's why all he talked about was basketball, because it was the only human thing he knew thoroughly. He didn't have a home life. He just hid where people wouldn't notice so he could "rest". He didn't have parents. He had spawned out of darkness without explanation. He couldn't even talk before he assumed a human form.

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And now, he was a third year and Kagami Taiga, fellow Seirin teammate, was his best friend and now he was demanding answers. He had noticed a few of Kuroko's tics and had finally confronted him about them; a few weeks from graduation.

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Kuroko couldn't face his friend. 'Look at me Kuroko.' Kagami demanded.

'I don't want to.' admitted Kuroko.

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His mind was swamped by Kagami though and every deceit, every lie and everything he ought to come clean about. Kuroko had feelings for Kagami. Feelings that weren't strictly platonic, feelings that claimed they could transcend the barrier of species. These were feelings that claimed that they were reciprocated. Kuroko wanted to tell Kagami but if he did, what would happen next?

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What if he became a yokai again? It would never work...

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Kuroko swallowed. 'You deserve the truth Kagami-kun.'

'Yeah, thanks. I didn't mean for this to blow up but I know i'm not blind. You haven't aged a day really from your Teikou days and god, your seventeen now.' Kagami said. 'I just thought you used anti-aging cream or something but it's not that, is it? You act strange, like your invisible and you never talk much about your family... I've never been to your house.'

'I don't have one.' Kuroko cut through Kagami's babbled.

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Kagami was stunned. 'Wait, what?' he shouted.

'I don't need one. I don't need to sleep. I only eat because it helps maintain the facade I've built. I'm just going to go out and say it, Kagami-kun. I just want you to know be-because I trust you most...' Kuroko's voice became quiet. 'Because I love you.'

'Wait, what?' Kagami shouted again, his face was going as red as his hair.

'I'm not human. I'm not seventeen. I'm closer to one-hundred-and-forty-seven years.' Kuroko said.

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Kagami stared, he reached his hand out, like he wanted to touch Kuroko's face but he stopped. 'Are you a vampire?'

'No, nothing that sexy. I'm just a lowly shadow yokai. I'm smaller than when Nigou was a puppy in my true form.'

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Kuroko looked scared. His hands curled into fists and he had his eyes shut. 'Are you okay?'

'I was told this body would disappear once I stopped needing it. I figured it would be soon. So, in a way, I guess I'm dying.' Kuroko smiled but tears dripped from his eyes. Kuroko tried not to remember that Midorima was beginning to smell of death.

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Kagami's eyes were wide, his mouth was open and he was unable to say anything. 'Wow, I wish you told me sooner. I'm glad you told me though. I didn't mean to force you out like that.' Kagami said.

'I was going to have to say it eventually.' Kuroko said.

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Kagami took Kuroko's hand. 'So, uh, you like cute when you're in your itty-bitty shadow form? I'm sorry, I just can't get over the fact my shadow is literally a shadow.' Kuroko forced out bit of a chuckle and he smiled.

'Yeah, you humans are more perceptive than most yokai give you credit for.' Kuroko said.

'Thanks, I guess?'

'I love you.' Kuroko said and he hugged Kagami who stiffened.

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Kuroko wished Kagami would say something. He breathed deeply in his scent. There wasn't a trace of death near it. He was sweaty and made of musk but Kuroko liked it. Kagami was going to live to an old age. That was the main thing.

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'I love you too.' Kagami murmured and he hugged back, tightly. Kuroko didn't want to think about what would happen next. He had heard stories as to what happens to yokai and humans who fall in love. It never turns out well. He just hoped that it was rule in which there were exceptions.

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Kuroko's body didn't age so he had to fake his death or else he would have to explain his inability to age to more people than just Kagami. He disappeared from Kagami's sight from then on but not from Kagami's life. He remained Kagami's companion, even if Kagami couldn't see him. Years passed and Kagami still knew Kuroko was with him, even at his death bed. In those last few moments in the hospital, he was able to see Kuroko who was sitting on his bedside table. He looked like a tiny, black ragdoll with pale blue eyes.

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 _You shouldn't have reserved yourself for me, your selfish shadow_... Kuroko thought to himself as he maintained unwavering eye contact with dying companion.

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Kuroko wasn't the exception unlike those lucky bastard tanuki yokai friends who enjoyed sitting under peach trees, being nostalgic. It wasn't fair.

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 **MerryFortune :)**


End file.
